Radioactive Eggs and Ham

RADIOACTIVE EGGS and HAM

by Jan Boudart

Department of Energy:
I am the DOE.
The DOE I am.

Non-consenting Volunteer:
That DOE! That DOE!
I don’t like nuclear energy!

DOE:
Do you like radioactive waste?

NCV:
I don’t like radioactive waste.

DOE:
Would you like it here or there?

NCV:
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
Stop making radioactive waste.
I do not like it anyplace.

DOE:
Would you like it in Massachusetts?
Would you like it at Yucca Mountain?

NCV:
I would not like it in Massachusetts.
I would not like it at Yucca Mountain.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
Stop making radioactive waste.
I do not like it anyplace.

DOE:
Would you take it in Minnesota?
Would you take it in Arizona?

NCV:
Not Minnesota. Not Arizona.
Not Massachusetts. Not Yucca Mountain.
I would not take it here or there.
I would not take it anywhere.
Stop making radioactive waste.
I do not like it anyplace.

DOE:
Waste Control Specialists is in this Biz.
Take it! Take it! Here it is!

NCV:
No we cannot take their bids.
Texas does not want this for their kids.

DOE:
A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you haul it on a train?

NCV:
Not on a train! Not through our yard!
Not on a truck! You make this hard!
I would not, could not, in Minnesota.
I could not, would not, in Arizona.
I will not take it in Massachusetts
I will not take it to Yucca Mountain.
I will not take it here or there.
I will not take it anywhere.
Stop making radioactive waste.
I do not like it anyplace.

DOE:
Could you, would you, in a borehole?

NCV:
I would not, could not, in a borehole!

DOE:
What if it’s safe and under our control?

NCV:
I could not, would not, in a borehole.
It is not safe or under control.
I will not take it on a train.
You should not drive it through the rain.
Not on a truck! Not next to me!
Not through my yard! You let me be!
I do not like it in Arizona.
I do not like it in Minnesota.
I will not take in Massachusetts.
I will not take it to Yucca Mountain.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!
Stop making radioactive waste!
I do not like it anyplace.

DOE:
You do not like it, so you say.
What shall we do to save the day?

NCV:
Stop making radioactive waste!
Don’t transport it all over the place.
Keep it on site,
And save the human race!